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Alice
by
Kala Guidry
Never
ending raw hurt
Blinds me with its shining white light.
Sounds all around me,
Busy, like a noisy kitchen
My head spinning like a carousel.
Falling into a hole like Alice in Wonderland
Into another world,
I feel the bunny’s presence. I know he is jumping around with his watch.
I am on borrowed time.
Piercing pain
On the edge of fear
Again on the rollercoaster through the tunnel into the blinding light
Over and over again I can’t get off
Stripped, raw, aching body, sagging, ragged breaths.
Remember to breathe
Breathe easy
Tears.
Need warmth, need dark, something to cover me.
Be like mud to coat and soothe my body, cover me.
Slow. Breathe.
Darkness is the only thing I want, something I must have.
Heat , Cool, Hunger, Spinning
Breathe.
Silence, Pounding, Resonating, Tightening
Constant. Constant. Constant.
I can hear my heart beat in my ears
A knife in my eye.
Screaming torture I go insane.
I am outside of my body, I am somewhere else.
Floating, searching
I am here.
Paralyzed.
Sacrificed.
Surrender.
© Kala Guidry, 2011
Last updated April 4, 2011.
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